De-Motivational Posters.

Sometimes I go to a book sale and see these nicely laminated motivational posters going for a swansong (or "three dollars for one lorry's worth" in Hokkien). They usually have a massive, awe-inspiring photo of scenery or animals, coupled to a wonderful message that goes like:

Success. Only With Hard Work Will You Hit The Major League!

Risk. How Can You Achieve Greatness Without Taking A Chance?

Then, as I looked at the other people milling around, fussing over which of these posters to buy, I think to myself:

How can these people read such bullshit and not throw up all over the floor?

Yeah I know I am super cynical. My history teacher once told me that my cynicism amazes her. When I was 14. So it's most likely genetic then. I know of people who don't have a single milligram of cynicism in their brains, who couldn't get satire even if you turned it into a beer bottle and smashed it over their heads with it.

Maybe that's a good thing... I don't know. What I do know is that I have at least one satire gene expressing feverishly in my brain. Or two. Most probably a whole genome duplication of the entire satire homeobox gene family. But I digress.

So I start frantically flipping through the stack of motivational posters looking for one that has a message that is a twitch closer to reality, like:

Happiness. Go Fuck Yourself.

Heh, no luck of course. Until now...

















Fab.

Go ahead, knock yourself out ---> Despair, Inc.